This month, we’re diving into a challenge that holds back many leaders at some point in their careers: being judgmental—both of themselves and those around them.
The Subtle Nature of Judgmental Thinking
Leaders often don’t realize when they’re being judgmental. The drive to succeed can subtly fuel these thoughts, making them seem like part of the leadership process. However, judgmental thoughts—whether directed inward or outward—can be overwhelming. They can dominate your day, consume your mental energy, and make it difficult to focus on anything else. Judging others also tends to lead to the fear that others are judging you as well.
These negative thoughts can be harmful both to you and your team in several ways.
The Impact of Judgment in Leadership
Judgment can be an ongoing internal dialogue, or it can spill out as feedback to your team and peers. These thoughts often fixate on flaws, whether real or perceived, and can stem from critical comments or disagreements with others.
While some judgmental thinking is rooted in the drive to succeed, it becomes toxic when left unchecked. In leadership, judgment can be useful—it helps with making quick decisions and acting swiftly when needed. Even self-criticism can be constructive when it fosters humility and offers insights for improvement.
However, judgment often creates distance between leaders and their teams or peers. It can also damage self-esteem, making it harder to lead effectively.
Self-Judgment: A Double-Edged Sword
Self-judgment is particularly dangerous because it not only affects mental health—contributing to anxiety, stress, and depression—but it also erodes confidence. For a leader or aspiring leader, this makes it harder to connect with the team and provide constructive feedback. There’s also the risk of lashing out over minor issues, leading to frustration and a lack of trust among employees.
The good news? You can learn to reframe these thoughts and regain control.
Understanding Judgmental Thoughts
Judgmental thoughts generally fall into two categories: comparative and internalized judgment. Comparative judgment involves comparing yourself to others—whether it’s aspiring to be like someone you admire or comparing your employees to one another. Internalized judgment, on the other hand, is when you feel you’re not living up to your own standards. (Perfectionists, this one’s for you!)
Both types of judgment can be harmful.
A Closer Look
Comparative Judgment occurs when leaders continuously compare their performance, behavior, or lifestyle with those around them—friends, family, coworkers, and others. In leadership, it often manifests as expecting others to approach tasks the same way, especially when in a position of authority. Over time, this mindset prevents recognizing and nurturing the unique strengths of the team, ultimately weakening the leader’s impact.
Comparative judgment can also lead to a constant fear of being judged by others, feeding the belief that one doesn’t measure up.
Internalized Judgment convinces leaders that they’re never perfect enough or that their successes are insufficient. The obsession with perfection can become overwhelming, leading them to believe that even the best achievements aren’t enough.
For the team, this mindset can be perceived as relentless criticism or as modeling a stressful, nearly impossible path to success. This creates a negative environment where both the leader and the team feel pressured and undervalued.
What’s Next?
In the coming weeks, we’ll explore the most common judgmental thoughts that leaders struggle with and learn how to reframe these thoughts to better support growth. We’ll also discuss strategies for helping your team overcome their own judgmental thinking.
Next month, in part two of this series, we’ll focus on reframing the belief that “I’m not enough”—one of the most pervasive forms of self-judgment that leaders face.