If you’re lacking contentment, it could be because you’re comparing yourself to others. You’ve been on social media and have seen the pictures of others living their seemingly exciting lives. It only takes a moment to find yourself wishing you had someone else’s career, body, house, or vacation.
Comparing ourselves to others is a common activity!
Yet there’s a critical flaw in this mental exercise. You simply don’t have all the information and you may be falling for our brain’s oldest trick – making assumptions. You never know where someone is in life or all the things they are experiencing. Someone might have a great body, yet they might be seriously ill. That great vacation might have been paid for with an inheritance after a family member passed away.
A healthier strategy is to compare yourself to your own recent past. How is your figure compared to 6 months ago? How are your finances compared to last year? If you’re making progress, congratulate yourself.
If your life isn’t moving forward, then take pause and address the situation.
Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Think about that statement and decide if it rings true for you.
Try these tips to free yourself from unnecessary comparisons:
1. Catch yourself early in the process. As soon as you realize that you’re making comparisons to others, shift your focus to something else.
· You can control your thoughts, so use that ability to your advantage.
2. Remember that the journey is what matters. Everyone is on a journey to learn, create, and become something unique. It’s an individual experience that isn’t impacted by what others are doing or accomplishing.
3. Comparing yourself to others is a game that can’t be won. There are a lot of people in the world. Through sheer statistics, there will always be someone with a more attractive spouse, more money, a better car, or a more interesting life.
· There’s no way to compete with 8 billion people in every facet of life.
4. Look to your strengths. Comparisons tend to focus on our weaknesses. We usually compare our shortcomings against others. Embrace your strengths and be proud. Now use those strengths to your advantage.
5. List the things you have. Comparisons highlight the things we lack. It’s much more productive to think about the things you do have. Your mood and frame of mind will be more positive, and you’ll be in a better position to compete and succeed.
6. People only let you see the things that want you to see. Sure, they’ll let you see their new BMW and the vacation pictures from Maui. But you’ll never see the tears and fights in the bedroom, or the verbal abuse they take from their mother-in-law. Keep in mind that social media is primarily used for showing the good, rather than telling the bad.
7. It’s just a habit. Our lives are filled with habits, and some of them are harmful. Poor mental habits are restrictive. It’s like going through life with the emergency brake on.
· Labeling the tendency to compare as a habit has a powerful advantage because we know that habits can be broken.
8. Learn the difference between judging and discernment. When we compare ourselves to others, we are judging ourselves and them. There are times though that you may look up to others or learn from them.
· When we judge ourselves or others we feel or think negatively. When we have discernment, we feel positively or motivated by the thoughts and feelings.
9. Utilize positive curiosity. Positive curiosity allows us to come from a place that knows that every experience or circumstance can be turned into a gift or opportunity. This is similar to a growth mindset and can help us overcome the negative effects of comparison.
Comparing yourself to others is limiting and self-defeating. No one can be expected to compare favorably to the vast number of people in the world. Make an effort to limit your comparisons to your own recent past. Are you making progress or backsliding? If you continue to enhance the areas that are important to you, your life is likely to be fulfilling and exciting!
Are you ready to release negative self-talk? Join us on our next Mental Fitness Intensive and learn how your current patterns are causing you to self-sabotage.
Learn more here!